Suicide Help

On  June 18, 2011 I was at a friends house for a Bridal Shower.  We all drank and I forgot to eat, and I was having problems with insomnia and so I mixed drinks and then got way too drunk.  I talked to some guests and misconstrued what one of them was saying and so that made me upset. I tried to leave the party on foot but didn’t know where I was going.  My daughter and friends stopped me and talked me into going back to the party.  I continued to drink.  I think at that point I was just trying to drink myself to death.  I passed out in the back yard on the patio furniture and then when I came to I got up walked to the sliding glass door, then tripped on the step and fell.  I fell so hard that I hit my elbow and head on the sliding glass door aluminum railing.  It gouged a huge chunk of skin out of my forehead.  I picked myself up, went into the bathroom and grabbed some toilet paper to stop the bleeding.  After that I don’t remember much.  My friends took care of me that night.  The next day I went into emergency and had the gouge sewn closed with four stitches and they also took x-rays of my head and neck.  I went home cleaned up that Father’s Day but I had been experiencing involuntary convulsions all day and through out the night.  The next day they stopped and only once in a great while do I have them.  I waited five days and removed the stitches.  The wound has left a pretty nice scar on my forehead. I was so depressed, and suffering from insomnia and I just wanted to die.  I could have died that night, either by alcohol poisoning or from a heavy blow to the head.  I’m pretty lucky.  I woke up and realized killing myself isn’t a good thing, it’s a stupid thing.  07/11/2011